Legally Brunette

Our office did some work for a client in the summer of 2006.  Well over a year ago.  Client left us hanging for ~$200.00.  Phone calls, letters, emails - nothing.  We finally just wrote it off as bad debt.

Out  of the blue, client calls our office last week - she wants OddFellow to look over a contract she has before she signs it.   That’s absolutely fine - she’ll pay off her balance and we’ll get a full hour’s fee for some pretty simple stuff.  Great!

She comes in this morning like a tornado - rushes in, looks around frantically, and says “he’s not here?!?!?”.  He’s here - he’s just not in his office.  He’s off talking to EstateGuy.  I ask her to have a seat, and go let him know that client is here.  He clears off his desk and brings me a file before inviting her back to his office.  As she gets up to follow him, she turns and whispers to me:  “He’s put on weight, hasn’t he?”

o_O

On what planet  is is considered socially acceptable to make random comments about someone’s weight?  Admittedly, yes, OddFellow HAS put on some weight.  He’s had a tough year.  Lots of personal problems and some medical issues that have affected his weight.  But he’s on a diet, working out, and is making great progress to take off the pounds.  And really, Client, you’re not paying him to be a fashion plate.  You’re paying him to read your bloody contract.

*headdesk*

…. I don’t know if it’s like this in every city, but HERE, the legal world is like high school.  Except with jail and bar complaints.

Seriously - right now I’m sitting in my office, diligently working updating my blog.  In the office next door, OddFellow is gleefully gossiping with TrafficGuy, and other independent attorney who works down the hall from us.  This happens at least two or three times a week - they run in slightly different circles, so they both always have GREAT gossip for each other.  Who has switched firms, who totally *bleeped* up, who’s boinking their secretary, who’s breaking up with their wife/husband/mistress…. it goes on and on and on.

The courthouse is just as bad - cliques and alliances form over lunches, and if you don’t have the support of your clique, you just don’t get as far.  It’s *essential* to make friends, schoomze, hobnob, and go out to bars every once in a while.  That’s where all the connections are made - forms are traded, clients are referred, and alliances are made.

It’s like high school, only real people’s lives are at stake.  It would be funny if it wasn’t so utterly astonishing.

 That’s the sound of my head hitting the desk.  I am SO very tired.

This morning = court. Nasty custody negotiation where OddFellow taught me some interesting tactics to get the opposing party to agree to what we wanted. Lots of subtle manipulation and negotiation tactics that I need to learn. Thank God we’re only a few blocks away from the courthouse - we were able to negotiate what we wanted for our client without having to go into an actual hearing, so I ended up running back to the office and drafting up the order then and there. It’s nice to be confident enough with my drafting skills to be able to do that.

I’m going to start making OddFellow take me to court more often. It takes time away from my work at the office, but it makes me much more comfortable in that environment. I am not a very open public speaker or terribly outgoing, so this is *definitely* going to be a learned skill for me. I also tend to be very passionate in my speech when I feel strongly about something - so I need to learn to curtail that and be more measured in my conversations with people. The more I watch OddFellow and others interact in the courtroom environment, the more I’m learning how I want to develop (and, conversely, what I DON’T want to do!) as an attorney.

I felt bad for one poor guy we saw - we was defending himself pro se in a debt defense action. We only caught the tail end of it - seems that he had a contractor he had hired to do some roof/gutter work hadn’t held up his end on the bargain, so the homeowner just stopped paying him. The contractor filed suit against him to claim on the debt. Today’s hearing was simply an administrative hearing - something about allowing the contractor to modify the complaint - and a trial was scheduled for November. This poor guy was trying to plead the facts to the judge, and she kept trying to tell him that this was just to deal with this one issue - and that he’d get his “day in court” in November. He just was not having ANY of that. Poor thing - I can understand his frustration, but that’s when he needs to hire an attorney to help walk him through the process.

Ah well. Off to try to clear some stuff off of my desk before the weekend. Tonight: homework. Tomorrow: homework. Sunday, homework. You sense a trend? Midterms are coming up, and I’m determined to be ready for them.

I have a nasty, nasty feeling that one of our clients is going to be disappointed this afternoon. *rolls eyes*

We’re on the juvenile abused/neglected/dependent (or A/N/D, for short) list - which means that we represent either the father or the mother when the state feels it necessary to step in and modify someone’s parental rights.

We have one particular father who calls here on a semi-regular basis and insists that *everything is an emergency*. EVERYTHING. He called three times this morning in the space of two hours - each time I tried to take a message, each time he refused to give me a phone number and insisted that he would call back. The third time he called and asked when OddFellow would be in. Since OddFellow was scheduled to be in court all morning, I told him that he’d be back in this afternoon, and if I could take his phone number I’d have him call back. He said “I’ll be downtown this afternoon, just tell him to expect me.”, and hung up.

This is the guy who HAD an appointment earlier this week, and was a no-show.

o_O

OddFellow *is* returning phone calls this afternoon - but he has court at 2pm. Which means he’ll probably take lunch around 12:30pm. After court he has a couple of appointments out of the office. Which means that *I* will have the distinct pleasure of telling this gentleman that he came all the way down here for nothing - since he couldn’t A) leave a phone number, or B) make a proper appointment and actually *keep it*.

Laugh-a-minute around here, I tell you.

• Although we do not expect you to dress to the nines, wearing a black bra and a ratty, translucent white ‘wife-beater’ tank top (complete with Emo-girl makeup!) is probally not the way to make a good impression.
• Yes, the chocolate in the waiting room is for you. Yes, I will look at you funny if you go through half the bowl in a 10-minute timespan.
• It’s always best to check in with the receptionist before barging into the attorney’s office. He *will* look at you funny if you don’t check in first.
• No, I’m not the attorney. (Note: I am a woman. The attorney has a very decidedly masculine name.)

I must repeat to myself over and over “the public defenders list brings in business. This pays the bills. We’re doing a public service. It’s good for everyone.” Really, it just keeps me sane. And it gives us lots of fodder for discussion after they leave.

Another mantra of mine - collections work is FUN!  I love telling people that we can place a lien on their house if they don’t pay their credit card bill!  (God, I feel slimy.)  Actually, I’d feel bad for these folks if I didn’t see their credit reports… 9 out of 10 of these people have 4 or 5 department store credit cards that are all outstanding - most of them at $1000+ per card.  I understand that people fall on hard times, but really… I live under the philosophy that if I can’t pay for it in cash, I don’t buy it.  Thus, I shop at GoodWill.  But my house is fully furnished and I have stylin’ clothes on my back, because I live in a nicely affluent area where the yuppies give away trendy clothes to GoodWill.

So - no pity.

*headdesk*

(Nope, I’m not dead - just mostly-dead. *grin*)

I think the stress of the past year is finally starting to catch up with me. I was doing my LSAT prep last night, working through a particularly difficult problem, and rubbing the small of my back. It felt… bumpy.

My entire torso is dotted with some sort of hives. I haven’t switched to a new laundry detergent, soap, or moisturizer… so the only thing I can figure it is, is some sort of stress-related reaction.

So last night was declared clean sheet night (just in case that was the trigger) and I lay in my clean bed, feeling like I had a million tiny bugs crawling all over me. Fun, huh?  Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well last night.  I bought benadryl and oatmeal bath on the way home tonight - the benadryl has been taken, and the bath shall be taken after dinner.

In good news, I did get an A in my accounting class. So I’ve kept up my 4.0! Granted, it’s a 4.0 at a really crappy community college, but still…

In other news, I am a copy machine and mail merge goddess. As stated earlier, OddFellow took on a bunch of collections accounts about a month ago, and we’re finally getting our processes in place to get them started. I’ve learned more about the individual county property tax websites than I ever thought I’d need to know. Last Wednesday I wrote the complaint, merged in all the data, and prepped the packets. Today I was a copying fool - three copies to send out to the clerk of court, one for our files, and one for the collection agent so they feel like they earned something for the filing fees they advanced us. Although theoretically it should have been easy to copy everything, most of the state forms are double sided… and our copy machine dosen’t do double sides automatically. But it DOES collate, so the complaints and affadavits could all be run through all at once.

Packets are all put in their envelopes with SASE’s. All OddFellow has to do is sign the cover letters tomorrow, write the checks for the filing fees, sign the letters and bring them all to the post office. If they aren’t in the mail when I get there on Wednesday, I shall cheerfully throttle him. I think I would be justified since I stayed there until 7:15pm to get it all done.

Home is good. Now I need to try to tackle more LSAT prep, and try not to scratch my skin raw.

There is something glorious about working in a city.

In my previous employment manifestations, I’ve mostly worked in the ‘burbs. I’ve done a lot of different things – shelving videos, bank teller, real estate assistant. Each job has had it’s plusses and minuses.

With the internship in OddFellow’s office, though, we’re downtown. Granted, it’s not a large city, but it IS a city, with all of it’s eccentricities and oddities. There is something simple and charming about driving in, parking in a parking deck, and walking a few blocks to the office. I love the building we’re in – it was built in the 1920’s, and the top two floors were used as the headquarters of the area’s International Order of Odd Fellows. The exterior of the building actually has some of the symbols of that fraternity, which is pretty damn cool.

The building is going through some renovations, though, so there are construction workers going in and out all the time. We’re having a sprinkler system installed, so all of a sudden our stairwell has a BIG PIPE just coming up in the middle. The elevators are old and kinda cranky, and both restrooms on all 10 floors used to be men’s restrooms. We do have to warn female guests and clients that the women’s restroom does have a urinal, and that’s OK. They’re not in the wrong place.

We’re on the second floor, and I’ll admit I spend a bit of time each day just people-watching. We’re within a 5-block radius of the State House, State Court of Appeals, County Courthouse, and State Supreme Court. So we get all sorts of people in this area, from the homeless to Supreme Court justices and everyone in between. I love having open access to the Supreme Court library, if I ever needed to use it. I love seeing the tourists walking out of the State House as I drive home every day. There is something beautiful and glorious about the heat and bustle and noise of a downtown area that I can’t even put my finger on – I just adore it.

In other news, it looks like I might actually shift over to a paid position here in the near future, which would be lovely. That means that I will soon be able to start phasing out my other job and shifting towards working as a full-time paralegal. Keep your fingers crossed that everything goes according to plan.

As an interesting side note, I’m writing my own employee manual. OddFellow wants to have the employee manual in place before he actually hires me, and I’m doing a lot of the writing/editing/organizing. Bizzare.

I desperately need to start LSAT preparations, I just don’t want to. This is the part of the application process that freaks me out the most – I really do very, very poorly on standardized tests. I totally bombed my SAT’s, and although I did okay on the GRE’s, I certainly didn’t walk away feeling super about the process. I figure that my GPA (3.5 out of undergrad, 4.0 currently in my paralegal program), essays, and letters of recommendation will all be fabulous enough that as long as I don’t totally bomb my LSAT, I should be fine.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

In either case, I really need to buckle down. I’m scheduled to take it at the end of September.

I found this little gem while reading law-geek blogs this morning:

http://www.txwb.uscourts.gov/opinions/opdf/05-56485-lmc_King.pdf

It seems that an attorney in TX submitted a pleading that was complete, utter, nonsense. The motion was denied on the grounds that "the court cannot determine the substance, if any, of the Defendant's legal argument, nor can the court even ascertain the relief that the Defendant is requesting".

The court then cites 'Billy Madison' (the Adam Sandler movie).

Legal-world hi-larity.

Boo-yah.

My internet-fu is strong.

According to state law, when issuing a summons for the termination for parental rights, you have to have 6 key points written on the summons. These 6 key points are not on the standard civil summons form. OddFellow handed me the statute and case file and looked at me with pleading eyes. "Fix this?"My Google-fu found the proper coversheet in about 10 seconds flat.

 Yep. Totally earned my salad today.

The good: business is going well - I did much better in 2005 than I did in 2004.

The bad: because of this, I had to pay more taxes.

The good: this was the first full year I could write off mortgage interest - so that helped.

The bad: I sure as hell hope that Turbotax knows what it's doing, because *I* sure didn't.

I do sincerely trust Turbotax to do a good job - we've been using it since the business was up and running and haven't had any problems. I input all my information and it spewed out a return, prompted me to fix a few things, and I was done. That was actually the painless part of the whole 'taxes' thing. The ouchy part was, of course, 'writing the check' (or, more specifically, transferring the money into the proper account to have it auto-drafted). As my hard copies were printing out, I decided to take a look over them and see if I could make hide or hair of it. I can't. I mean, I seriously can't figure these forms out.

Whoever invented Turbotax should be given lots of chocolate.

Although this upcoming year I think I'm going to break down and bring my stuff to an accountant - my taxes are getting complicated enough that I would feel better having a human being look them over. Between the business, school credit, some investment interest income, and the house, they seem pretty complicated to me. I'm sure an accountant would think they were pretty simple - it's not like I have multiple businesses, or a large inheritance, or anything. Of course, this means that I can't procrastinate (like I do every year!) and actually need to tabulate all my expenses in a timely fashion.

The plus side, though, is that although my tax bill is higher than it was last year, it's not *signifigantly* higher - so I should be able to start looking into the window project.

Ugh - I really hate dealing with money and money issues - this just makes me squickly. I am now anxiously awaiting the 'return recieved' email to confirm that my return was properly electronically filed.